relapse insurance

RELAPSE INSURANCE

Don’t leave
Old Rehab
without it

because you
can’t recover
without it

It’s been

over 20 years

since I drank my last drink

and

over 6 years

since I last consumed
any sort of
nefarious chemical substance

I do my step-work
for at least
15 minutes
every single day

I talk with my sponsor regularly

I still re-read
parts of the

Narcotics Anonymous
“Basic Text”

and

Alcoholics Anonymous
“Big Book”

from time to time

Because I am an introvert

I only occasionally
share my
experience
strength
and
hope

at a 12-step meeting

I try to help other addicts
whenever possible

I try to stay true to
the traditional 12 steps
as I go about
my daily business

I meditate regularly

Since completing
Old Rehab
nearly 7 years ago

I have never once
been around
a single person
who was drunk or high

except
while I was at work
at the
Old Rehab

when I checked in
the newbies
and
relapsers

who showed up
all rough

and

ready
to get
clean and sober

After completing
my one and only
time through
Old Rehab

I have never once
even seen
any alcohol or a drug
up close and personal

except when I found
shit
while going through
bags and rooms

while I was working
at the
Old Rehab
down the street
from where I live

I am a
living
breathing
good example of
honest recovery effort

I diligently follow
ALL OF THE
A.A./NA
rules regulations and promulgations

Yet

after more than
6 years clean
and
20 years sober

if I were to somehow
find myself
all alone in a room

with a
bag of dope
or a
bottle of hooch

I honestly do not know if
I would be able to
resist the temptation

I am also unsure if
I would actually
call my sponsor

or

get up and
go to a meeting

as
the A.A./NA programs
suggest recovering addicts do

when they find themselves
facing the urge to slip

---

That’s why I have
RELAPSE INSURANCE

Not that kind of insurance

RELAPSE INSURANCE

Don’t leave
Old Rehab
without it

because you
can’t recover
without it

After completing
Old Rehab

I immediately moved
to a new city
and
away from

the old people
I played with

the places where
I hung out

and

the things
I did

I have lived in either a
half-way house
or a
three-quarter
sober living house

ever since the day
I completed
Old Rehab

Both of those places
would force me to
immediately leave
if I got caught with
any drugs or alcohol

I plan to vacate my current
sober living house residence

FEET FIRST
IN A PINE BOX

the day my addiction
takes its final revenge

I believe
I could not
continue
living my life
as a
successful recovering addict

if
I ever decided
to live alone

I know myself
too well

Although I am
a recovering addict

I am still
a damn addict

My roommates are
required to report
any suspected drug or
alcohol use

If they do not report
to the boss
any suspected drug or
alcohol use
they risk immediate eviction

The person in charge
of the place where I live
can test me for
drugs and alcohol
at any time

If I refuse to
immediately submit to

even a single
random drug test
or breath test

I risk immediate eviction

Because it’s a
sober living house

I am a guest

I am not a tenant

The boss is an innkeeper
who can
immediately throw me out
if I don’t obey the rules

The boss is not a landlord
who would need
an order from a judge to
get my ass thrown out

Because I will always be
an addict
I must always be
diligent

If I am not diligent
I will relapse

That’s
RELAPSE INSURANCE

Don’t leave
Old Rehab
without it

because you
can’t recover
without it

I know
I’ll never have
enough power over
my addiction to
leave home without it

because
relapse is epigentic

Please read the

“momma trauma”
and
“relapse is epigenetic”
and
“the Tito’s report”
suggestions

when you’re done
reading this suggestion

Besides

unlike
car insurance
house insurance
and
health insurance

RELAPSE INSURANCE
IS FREE!

And that’s
The Truth


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HAVE A
TROUBLESHOOTING
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