Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.)

There is no place on earth
more benevolent
and
more welcoming
of
anybody
and
everybody
than a 12-step meeting

If there is
such a thing
as a
divine creation

it was
the 1935 birth of
Alcoholics Anonymous
(A.A.)
which begat

Narcotics Anonymous
(NA)

in 1953

and all the rest
of the
12-step Anonymous programs

A.A. is
in my personal opinion
perfect

NA is also
in my personal opinion
perfect

For drug addicts
alcohol addicts (alcoholics)
or dual addicts

who enjoy Christianity
spirituality and God

and even those who don’t

the traditional 12 Steps
are divinely better
for
life
liberty
property
and
the pursuit of happiness
than the

Bill of Rights
or the
Ten Commandments

I’m just sayin’

whichever program
you pick

A.A. or NA

you can be
confident it’s the
perfect place
for you to
become a
recovering addict

I am a
social climber
and
try to belong
to as many
exclusive clubs
that will have me

So far
only
A.A. and NA
have accepted me
for membership

The
doors of
the rest of
those fancy
clubs out there
remain
mysteriously closed

to
crazy
Old Fat Fucks
like me

In 1935
there were
no Old Rehabs

In 1935
all we had was
detox
followed by

sponsors
sponsoring
sponsees

No one
stopped off at
Old Rehab
on the way to
get a sponsor

No one

Because Old Rehab
didn’t exist
until 1939
when A.A. begat the
High Watch Recovery Center
=
the world’s first Old Rehab

Sanatoriums existed
just for detoxification
while Old Rehab
was still in the womb

Somehow
everybody forgot
what works best

In the
87 years since
A.A. was founded

no one has
come up with
a better program than

sponsors
sponsoring
sponsees

rinse ‘n’ repeat

That master/apprentice-style
addiction recovery
and
relapse prevention method

still works better than
everything else

only on the rare occasion that
the sponsor is
a willing master teacher
who has researched and

actually knows he knows
and doesn’t just
think he knows

the ins and outs
of how addiction recovery
really works

and

the sponsee is
a willing apprentice

AND THAT’S THE TRUTH

BEFORE THE CROWBAR
WAS INVENTED
CROWS HAD TO
DRINK AT HOME


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