how to GetAFuckingSponsor
First look at
all these periods
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A.A. or NA
Can you tell
the difference?
You will probably find
your sponsor at
an A.A. or NA meeting
If you like periods
then
A.A. is better
because
A.A. is spelled A.A.
and
NA is spelled NA
Otherwise
A.A. and NA
are pretty much
the same
for the newcomer
Same traditional 12 Steps
same coffee
same mismatched chairs
and pretty much
no smoking allowed
inside anywhere
any more
What has this
world come to?
In my experience
the A.A. folks
express a bit more
on God
and
the NA folks
express a bit more
four-letter words
the A.A. folks
have more DUIs
and
the NA folks
have more felonies
the A.A. folks
ask for a
desire to stop drinking
as a requirement
for membership
and
the NA folks
ask for a
desire to stop using
as a requirement
for membership
To be honest
I never had
the desire
to stop drinking
or
to stop using
and
no one ever
threw me out
of an
A.A. or NA meeting
the way I got myself
thrown out of
so many bars
and
so many dope houses
not too long ago
What I have
is a desire
to stop
my addiction
It seems there is
a bit of
flexibility
as far as
the A.A./NA
meeting rules go
as long as
your behave
in a manner
your grandmother
would approve
There is one rule
with less flexibility
you should know
NA welcomes
pure drug addicts
pure alcohol addicts
and
dual addicts
A.A. only welcomes
pure alcohol addicts
and
dual addicts
NA embraces
all addicts
A.A. embraces
fewer addicts
There is
one
very
important
rule
you must never break
NO CROSS TALK
A 12-step meeting is
a place where addicts
share their
experience
strength
and
hope
one at a time
No matter
how much
you disagree
with something
someone says
if you talk while
another addict
is sharing their
experience
strength
and
hope
the entire meeting
will stop
and
you might get
your ass
thrown out
Wait until
no one else
is talking
then
take your turn
by speaking up
Hi
I’m John
I’m a recovering alcoholic
if you’re at
an A.A. meeting
or
Hi
I’m Mary
I’m a recovering addict
if you’re at
an NA meeting
Then
take a few minutes
to say
whatever
you feel like saying
When your done talking
say
Thank you for
letting me share
To
GetAFuckingSponsor
at an
A.A./NA meeting
do this
After you
introduce yourself
say
I’m looking for help
finding a sponsor
The universe
will subsequently
deliver your sponsor
to you
when the time is right
Just be patient
The universe
works in
mysterious ways
Do the same thing
at another
A.A./NA meeting
the next day
And again
and again
Talk with folks
outside the meeting
before and after
the meeting
Go back inside
after most everyone
has left
Talk with the
meeting chairperson
and
the other folks
still hanging around
Rinse-and-repeat
until you find
the meeting room
you like best
It won’t be long
before you meet
your sponsor
It’s better to
ask someone
for help
finding you a sponsor
than actually
asking someone
Will you be my sponsor?
That way
you’re not
putting anyone
on the spot
So
A.A. or NA?
Instead of thinking
about it as an
A.A. versus NA
question
just go where
your energy
is
reciprocated
celebrated
and
appreciated
Go
where you feel
most comfortable
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE
A HOME GROUP
AND THAT’S THE TRUTH
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